


'Cause Summer in Australia's Hot (But Spring is Even Hotter)

by CaitClandestine



Category: All Time Low
Genre: Gen, Kind of sex pollen except magic pills?, Provide your own sexy ending, Slightly more than vaguely unfinished
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-02
Updated: 2016-01-02
Packaged: 2018-05-11 02:47:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5610979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaitClandestine/pseuds/CaitClandestine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alex has hayfever and gets a little more value than he expected out of the pills he buys.</p>
            </blockquote>





	'Cause Summer in Australia's Hot (But Spring is Even Hotter)

**Author's Note:**

> Originally this fic was supposed to end with Alex calling the other dudes and there was a sexy foursome but I just don't see myself making that happen so he'll just have to get off alone

Approximately ninety-nine percent of all the time All Time Low has been in Australia it's been summer. Which fair enough, it's festival season. Festivals are awesome.

Just, summer in Australia can be really fucking awful. Alex likes warm weather but there's a distinct difference between relaxing in shorts and 'thongs' and being sure his brain is actually melting. 

So he's managed to wheedle his way into their current little headlinery non-festival related Australian tour being in spring, not summer. By wheedle of course he means whine and bitch dramatically but fuck, he's doing them all a favour here, they'll see.

The flight is long, long, long like it always is when they head straight over and Alex sits with Jack like he always does because Jack is the best plane buddy ever. He brings snacks and blankets and isn't ashamed to drink liqour at ridiculous times because 'It's totally after lunch in Oz man'. He also lets Alex sleep on him, which is a very important feature of a plane buddy.

As soon as they're out of the airport in Sydney Alex asesses the weather. It's warm and sunny but the moisture isn't being sucked out of his eyeballs everytime he blinks. Excellent. 

Now, Alex likes to think he's familiar with Sydney. Key features; big bridge, pointy building. Expensive pizza. Plenty of Starbucks for Rian and of course the legendary Bondi Beach. What it's legendary for exactly Alex doesn't know but the way people, even other fly-ins like them seem to get offended whenever he calls it 'Bond-e' it must be important.

As well as coming in the Springtime, Alex has managed to get them three days before the start of tour to just absorb everything. Like a little holiday that they aren't paying for. They can go out, have a good time and not have to worry about waking up in the morning before a show looking and feeling like that bit in the Spongebob movie where they're on dry land and all dehydrated and shit. Australian summer hangovers are the worst.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Twelve hours later and Alex is thinking that maybe summer again wouldn't have been so bad. Turns out Australia takes spring very, very seriously. Like, they're in a major city filled with millions of people and skyscrapers and yet somehow there's still a hundred and one little fucking gardens and parks everywhere. Gardens and parks brimming with all these weird, colourful Australian flowers and trees and annoying happy little birds and if a kangaroo appeared Alex wouldn't even be surprised. 

From a distance, it's all lovely. And Jack putting a red oval shaped flower-tree called a bottle brush down his pants and declaring it his bottlebush was funny. Especially the part where said brushbush was covered in little tiny ants. 

Hayfever is a bitch. It comes and goes, is usually quite kind to him at home unless he like, decides to roll around in a field of flowers or go plant shopping. It can be exponentially shitty sometimes though and all these strange new pollens are sending his body into a state of hysteria.

His head hurts, he can't breathe and his nose is eternally blocked. He's already gone through two of those little travel packets of tissues because his eyes keep running. All he wants to do is hide in his hotel room and probably die. He's had a good life.

“Stop being so overdramatic” Rian says exasperately, “Pretty sure Australia stocks antihistamines just like everywhere else”

Rian's a bitch. 

“I hate you” Alex whines, even though he's right. Drugs make everything better.

Getting said drugs though was always a thing Matt did for him in countries that weren't America or the UK. There Alex knows what he's looking for and just because everything is in english here isn't really an advantage. He'd a had a cold coming into Soundwave eleven and some handy person had bought him some cough drops which had looked innocent enough but he'd promptly gagged and thrown up, barely making it towards a conveniently placed bin. Zack had looked positively gleeful when he'd read the box and informed them all it was made out of the same trees that koalas eat. 

Combine that with his experiences of surprise-vegemite pranks and Alex is understandably suspicious of Australian anything that comes recommended.

“I'll come with you” Jack says brightly, “I want some more of those tree flavoured cnady”

Oh, yeah. Jack, the bizarre motherfucker that he is absolutely loved those cough drops. Disgusting. 

The main problem with going places with Jack is that the guy is a magnet for getting easily distracted and getting you excited and also distracted enough to follow him and therefore getting epically lost most of the time. 

They're not technically lost since they're most definitely still in Sydney. Just a quieter, quainter Sydney, in an alley filled with little stores, most of them not in english. But hey, Sydney probably has a Chinatown and a Little Italy and things like that too so Alex isn't too worried. Due to all of the times him and Jack have been lost both Zack and Rian have the ability to track their phones. Which is also very helpful because Alex looses his phone about twelve times a week.

And hey, weird part of Sydney has a distinct lack of flower. Alex snuffles experimentally. Nope, still can't breathe. But his eyes are dry, which is an improvement of sorts.

“Alex, hey!” Jack's suddenly not beside him anymore, is across the alley pointing excitedly at a storefront which as Alex approaches, is literally just rows and rows of Jack's 'eucalypt' drops. Christ, trust Jack to find a fucking warehouse full of the awful things.

“Fuck me” Alex says, as Jack disappears into the tiny shop. He's got no choice but to follow, at least stop his best friend from being swindled or something. 

On the plus side, as he enters it becomes apparent that it is sort of the kind of shop they want. A chemist, his brain informs him. Like the UK.

Despite how quiet it was outside the little store is pretty busy, people wandering up and down the aisles, shopping baskets in hand. Jack's got a bundle of his candy in his arms already, is waving him down towards the back of the shop.

“Maybe they'll have your bitch pills here” Jack stage-whispers into his ear and Alex moves so they're close enough that he can punch Jack in the arm without really being seen. Why are they friends again?

“Shut up” He grumbles, making his voice as whiny and patheric as posslbe. “It's not my fault the universe hates me so much that it decided I should be allergic to flowers and shit”

Jack pats hims on the back as the two of them scan the shelves. There are a lot of things not in english, colourful boxes with bright writing and pictures. There's a few that actually say hayfever on them, and another few with pictures of bees and flowers, so at least they're in the right spot.

“So” Jack promtps, “Pick one and lets go dude, I have a beautiful body to tan”

Alex sighs, decides to take his chances with a bright blue box with green writing and picture of a big pink flower. It says hayfever in english on the front, and when he flips the box he thinks the rest of it might be in german or something. Seems trustworthy enough.

He picks up what's probably a ridiuclously overpriced bottle of water as Jack pays for his stuff, and once they're outside he tries to dechipher how many pills he's supposed to take. He goes with two, because it's got to be more effective than one and less likely to kill him than three. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Back in his hotel room after him and Jack had managed to navigate their way back with the help of a lovely older couple taking their dog for a walk, Alex feels weird.

A little bit of good weird, because he's been able to blow all the gunk from his nose and breathe freely and his head feels lighter too. Maybe a bit too light. Like being on a cloud.

A weird, light, horny cloud. Seriously, he's just been watching weird Australian talkshows, nothing even remotely sexy and yet he's hard enough that he's had to unbutton his jeans.

God, he hopes he didn't pick up the wrong kind of tablets.

He can't have though, because these are definitely working. Just in more ways than he expected.

It's alright for a little while, just him and his dick and he hadn't really felt turned on, was just experiencing one of those random unexpected boners (RUBs for short, courtesy of Jack) and he distracts himself with Twitter because he doesn't really feel like jerking off. He considers texting Jack to let him know because that's the kind of friends they are but he literally cannot be bothered, is too warm and comfortable in his comfty king sized bed.

Too warm is suddenly right. The air seems to thicken around him so quickly his head spins with it, a lazy kind of dizzy and Alex reaches down to peel off his socks, loosen the top buttons on his shirt. It's Australia he reminds himself, their spring is still going to be pretty warm sometimes.

He's knows it's not the weather. He can feel it – whatever this new it is, spreading straight from his cock to his fingers and toes and fuck, there's no way he's going to be explaining this to Jack or anyone. He's taken german viagra or something. Made from magical german flowers. He'll never live this down.

Alex has been told a million times that he's one stubborn motherfucker and he intends to use that to his advantage right now. So he took some boner procuring pills, he's a grown man and he doesn't need to just cave right in and get all sex crazy. He can control himself.

He absolutely can't. The warmth has spread into a tingling throughout his entire body, a thin line of sweat starting on his forehead and there's no way in hell he can possibly not touch his dick. He literally has to or he's pretty sure he's going to die.

He wiggles out of his jeans, shoves his boxers down with them and gives his cock a long, sure stroke and fuck, resistance really is futile it's never, ever felt this good he's sure. He can't stop, not even long enough to reach for his bag to get the lube Jack so handily makes sure everyone has 'just in case', needs his shirt off but can't wrench his hands away from his stuttering hips.

Its like he's fifteen all over again as he rolls over to rub himself into the bed, hand still wrapped around himself and god, he needs this, the tingles rapidly becoming sparks behind his eyes because it's been years since he's been this desperate and Alex knows he's making stupid noises but he just can't stay quiet.


End file.
